CELEBRITY NEWS

We have an Angelina Jolie triple whammy. First she doesn’t like the media, then she gives a paparazzi a lift, and now she may be reconciling with her estranged father, Jon Voight.

The media story: At the Mighty Heart premiere, Fox News reported that her lawyer required all journalists to sign a contract before talking to her that requested they not ask any personal questions. They also claim that Jolie banned Fox News from the red carpet altogether. The irony of the situation is that the premiere was supporting the Reporters Without Borders organization. However, Jolie laid the controversy to rest by allowing all media outlets to ask all questions. And on the Daily Show with Jon Stewart, she explained that her reps were only looking out for her, and the agreement was not mandatory in anyway.

The paparazzi story: Thursday, paparazzi James Ambler was following Angelina on his bicycle when he punctured his tire on a nail. Just when he thought he was going to lose the picture, Angelina pulled over and said “Lance, why don’t you jump in the car?” After he got in, they continued chatting. Angelina told him, “We love having you riding alongside us. You’re always happy, always smiling. The kids enjoy watching you whizzing along on your bike.” So they nicknamed him Lance Armstrong.

Jon Voight: In an interview with the UK’s Evening Star, Angelina appeared open to reconciling with her father, who has openly made pleas to Angelina and his grandchildren through the media. “I am hoping my relationship with my father will be more private in the future. At the end of the day we both wish the best for each other and we’ll try to start communicating in some way.” That’s great news for Jon Voight.

Source: Fox News, Us Weekly, People

The ca-yute Entourage boys hit up TRL this afternoon to promote Season 4 of the show. After such a long (okay, one week) hiatus between Season 3, Part 2 and the start of Season 4, obviously they’ve got a lot of work to do to make sure that people remember how things ended. I kid, obviously, but I’m certainly not complaining. Any excuse to get to see more of Adrian’s baby blues and hear those boys banter is fine by me.

More of the boys pics so just

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The same day I was did this meme (tagged by Dr. Monkey Von Monkerstein), I was tagged with it again by Cap’n Dyke! Never one to disobey one of my captain’s orders, I’ve done it again. As if I don’t enjoy finding myself fascinating…

Rules: Each person posts the rules before their list, then they list 8 things about themselves. At the end of the post, that person tags and links to 8 other people; then visits those people s sites and comments, letting them know that they have been tagged, and to come read the post, so they know what they have to do.

Again, I’m not sure I’ll tag a whole eight people, but here we go.

1. I lost trust in writers very easily because of inconsistencies. For example, Michael Crichton. I used to enjoy his books. Yes, they were stupid, and all he ever did was take a familiar plot and put technology into it (Congo=King Solomon’s Mines with lasers and a talking monkey; Jurassic Park=Conan Doyle’s The Lost World with genetics, etc.), but I still count Eaters of the Dead and Travels among my favorite books. But he completely lost me with The Lost World, because of the way he shamelessly resurrected Ian Malcolm from the dead. That’s just bullshit, and the worst part is that he only did it because Jeff Goldblum was the only actor who was going to be in the movie sequel. And he didn’t even explain it in the book! He just copped a line from The Princess Bride: “I was only mostly dead.” Fuck you, Crichton! I haven’t read a single one of his books since. Another example: Brett Easton Ellis. How am I supposed to trust the narrative of American Psycho when Patrick Bateman, a man extremely well versed in material things (there’s an excellent chapter where all he does is dissect the recent Genesis albums), messes up the names of two girl groups? In one chapter, he misidentifies the Crystals as the singers of “Be My Baby,” and in another he misidentifies the Ronettes as the singers of “Then He Kissed Me.” He’s got them the wrong way around. My Lit & Film teacher thought it was unfair of me, but if you can’t get the one simple fact straight for a character who is so exacting in every other detail, it breaks the character entirely.

2. I hate hate hate Joss Whedon, but the reason surprises people. It’s because, back in 1995, he was one of the people who rewrote Waterworld. When Entertainment Weekly was writing an article about the troubled making of the movie, they interviewed him and pointed out what many an audience member was saying: you can’t run airplanes and jetskis on crude, unrefined oil. Whedon, instead of showing that he’d thought of the inconsistency or conceding a mistake on a point of science or even coming up with an answer, said “Guess what? You can now!” Which I thought was a particularly asinine thing to say. And I don’t have respect for a writer who can’t be bothered to stand by what he writes, no matter if it’s just paid work or not.

3. I look like Jason Bourne, a Greek composer, a Democratic has-been, a Jewish violinist, and a mob boss. After seeing Dr. Zaius do it, I went to MyHeritage to look up my celebrity lookalikes. Some of you may remember that I did this before, and I looked like Robbie Coltrane and Beyonce. Weird. Anyway, this time, I look like the following:Just for the hell of it, I put in my picture from my senior year highschool yearbook (1994). 13 years ago, I more closely resembled the following:As you can see, this means I’m getting exponentially less sexy as the years go by. It’s scientific. Or at least scientifish.

4. I find Tilda Swinton excruciatingly erotic. There’s just something so sort of otherworldly about her that gives me pause and makes me want her badly. I think it has to do with the Bowie-esque androgyny. The Chronicles of Narnia: The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe is a good movie, but it also gave me a painful erection because every time Tilda was onscreen, I got lost in her eyes and her voice and her wardrobe and her skin and all I could think about was how badly I want to eat her pussy. I got distracted.

5. I still want to experiment with food chemistry, even though my food choices have been limited by my desire to lose weight. Heidi came up with the magnificent idea of chocolate covered banana cream Twinkies (oh, I will make that happen), and thanks to the long-absent Angela, I still want to replace the biscuit on my Egg McMuffin with a glazed donut. I was also thinking this morning: if people eat those icky breakfast burritos, why not a breakfast pizza? A personal-sized pizza topped with sausage, bacon, and eggs over easy? Is that disgusting? I thought it sounded kind of good. Also, why not a hot dog wrapped in a Twinkie? And some people fry them, too… Hey, I’ve been thinking of this kind of thing since I was a kid and posited thick, baked French fries with ketchup centers.

6. Some people crack their knuckles, but I crack nearly every joint in my body. One time, just before a class, I loudly cracked my elbows, and the teacher cringed. “Wow, I really wish I’d never heard that,” he said.

Me: “Sorry. But if I hadn’t done it, I’d be very uncomfortable.”

Teacher: “So, as long as you’re comfortable, it doesn’t matter that you make others uncomfortable?”

Me: “Those are pretty much the words I live by, sir.”

7. I often think about quitting this blog altogether. But someone always talks me out of it.

8. I like the Ewoks. Those cute little animal things that fanboys always get pissed off at in science fiction and fantasy movies? I usually like them. I like Jar Jar Binks, I just don’t think he needs to be in every damn scene of Episode I (hey, he’s a Goofy rip-off, and I like Goofy). I want my own Pikachu, Charizard, Psyduck, Cubone, Squirtle, and especially Bulbasaur. Grimlock is my favorite Transformer. I always liked Snake Eyes because he had a wolf, and Shipwreck because he had a parrot. I like Superman better with Krypto. Don’t ask me why, but these things are in my head. (Maybe I should ask for Krypto instead of Comet in my Supergirl movie.)This time, I’m not going to tag anyone. I did it the last time. Anyone who wants can do it this time.

Fie on the pugnacious and puerile hubris of this bilious and surreptitious leader of a lugubrious and hoary system, who with much parsimony but little perspicacity engages in ostentatious chicanery while I, SamuraiFrog, a mere Scaramangian dilettante to the politicking of this eponym of shrubbery, in all my body from the aglets of my shoes to the pince-nez of my spectacles, throw fisticuffs at the abscissa of his evil and his stupidity, that I may see their gloam before freedom perishes from this eponymous land of Amerigo Vespucci.

This could be grosser than any image of Britney Spears being plowed wheelbarrow style.

Aging host of The View Barbara Walters commented this week on the topics her and her castmates can discuss now that Rosie O’Donnell is off the program.

She said that “it’s very hard for anyone to follow Rosie,” but at least the panel can now talk about issues such as “heterosexual sex,” which, apparently, they couldn’t do before simply because Rosie would be more attracted to Paris Hilton’s pussy than David Beckham’s penis.

“The Hot Topics have been fun,” Walters told KISS-FM’s Ryan Seacrest on Wednesday, referring to the segment in which the all-female panel dishes about various subjects. “There are some things that we were able to discuss that we weren’t able to discuss with Rosie, like heterosexual sex. Because, you know, Rosie’s lifestyle is different, being an open lesbian.”

So if O’Donnell were straight, Elisabeth Hasselbeck and company would be throwing out blow job references left and right?

During Wednesday’s radio interview, Walters praised O’Donnell as “a great talent,” saying she “brought a lot of excitement and, of course, controversy to the show.” She also said ratings have remained steady since her departure.

Walters, an executive producer of the program, said, “We are taking our time a little bit” in picking new co-hosts. There are currently two empty seats at the table, as a permanent replacement for co-host Star Jones Reynolds was never selected after she left last year.

Comedian Whoopi Goldberg is a front-runner for one of them.

Of course, if heterosexual, oral sex is really on the agenda, we have another suggestion: Antonella Barba needs a job these days.

“She’s someone we’re considering,” Walters said. “Whoopi is wonderful. But this is a big thing to take on the job five days a week, every day. You have to really be committed to it.”

Whether it’s for money or attention, she does look good in this photo.
Lily Allen enjoying a shot or twenty during her show at Bonnaroo.
“Yes, I took from his wife and I’m the biggest slut on the planet.”
Maybe it’s the dark lighting, but Fergie doesn’t look that bad.
The bride and groom wore white. The bride accentuated her white dress by going without a bra and adding go-go boots. Class all the way.

BAD news for Hollywood babe Jessica Biel. If she’s waiting for boyfriend Justin Timberlake to utter those three little words, she’d better not hold her breath…

In a remarkably candid interview, 26-year-old Justin spilled the beans about his romance with the stunning Illusionist star - and admitted it’s definitely NOT love.

The pop heart-throb called Jessica, 25, his “very dear friend” and said she texts him all the time. But when asked who the love of his life is, he replied: “I haven’t met her yet.” Ouch!

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And although he claimed he couldn’t say no to her “pretty face” when she asked to accompany him to Europe while he toured with his FutureSex/ LoveShow, he has now put his foot down and told her it’s business before pleasure…

Justin said: “She truly insisted that she came with me on tour. I don’t know how to say no to a pretty face. But it wasn’t really a good idea. This time I’m putting the machine before everything else. Jessica met up with me in Manchester, but for Paris I told her categorically no. This tour is very important for me. I’m doing it really seriously so there’s no question of playing sweethearts!”

Poor Jessica. Still there is one person who Justin is in love with - himself! He is not exactly bashful when it comes to assessing his appearance. Asked what he dislikes about his body, he bragged: “Physically nothing. I’m well proportioned and nothing offends me when I look in the mirror.”

He added: “I defy a girl not to fall for me if I’m on a surfboard or snowboarding. It’s my secret weapon if a girl resists me.” And he also reckons he’s irresistible to men saying that “plenty” of male stars hit on him, too.

Maybe that’s why his four-year romance with Cameron Diaz went down the pan - she got fed up of him having to constantly swat away his many admirers.

Talking of his ex, Justin insisted they are still great friends, even though Cameron was said to be furious after spying him cosying up to Jessica at the Golden Globes Awards. He said: “Cameron is without doubt one of my best friends. I adore her and I hope it will always be like that.”

He also laughed off rumours linking him to Scarlett Johansson. Asked by French mag Public about the last lie he told, he said: “When I made the whole world believe that Scarlett was my girlfriend.” What a joker!

source

Mary-Kate and Ashley Olsen marked their coming of age - to drink legally - with a “low-key” 21st birthday at Chateau Marmont in Hollywood Wednesday night. “There weren’t really any celebs there,” said our source, “just the two of them and about 10 of their friends. Everyone was drinking champagne. The girls in the group were kind of tipsy, but it was pretty low-key.” The spy said the celebration was held in the hotel’s garden and that Mary-Kate’s beau, Max Snow, stuck close to her side.

(source)